Confined Within This Body

N: The main reason why the Buddha would say, if he wanted to describe the worst type of suffering, he would say ‘pains like death or those of dying’. Not because it’s physically unpleasant, that’s not why those pains are there. It’s the mental anguish. So what’s the main characteristic of the discomfort of death, or thoughts of dying? What’s the most unpleasant aspect of it? How can you describe it?

A: Non-control.

N: How is that manifested? Like, when you don’t have control, at all.

M: It threatens your existence. It threatens your self.

N: Yep, so what example can you then experience in the world that would resemble that ultimate threat of death, while you’re still alive, that would partake in exactly the same nature?

M: Losing your memory.

A: Sickness.

N: Yeah, all of these things, they have this one thread in common.

T: Imprisonment.

N: That’s it, imprisonment. What’s the main characteristic of imprisonment? It’s confinement. So generally, confinement is the worst. You can have it a little bit more so, but the worst possible idea, the worst phobias, are the ideas of when you’re confined. You can’t move, you can’t breathe, you can’t do anything. So, confined within your own body. And you can get glimpses of that throughout life, on account of this or that, but usually the view will kind of keep it pinned to the life and circumstances, failing to understand that the possibility of confinement will ultimately be exemplified for you through the experience of death, or pains like those of dying. And that’s exactly why the Buddha would describe things that way. So, the reason why death and pains like those of dying are so unpleasant is because of the confinement that the mind naturally resists, craves against. Not because it’s unpleasant in and of itself. It might be uncomfortable, but the mental anguish does not come automatically with it. That is the mental anguish of the mind that is now facing its confinement. And that’s the worst fear, and that’s the worst pain.

So if the mind learns how not to move amidst confinement, and these examples of confinements, then eventually even death will not be able to move it. Because it’s exactly the same thing. You’re confined within your own senses. They Belong to Māra. Eyes, sights, ears, nose, everything. But it’s a confinement that you don’t see. Because ‘well, it’s confining in this prison, but look at all these joys and pleasures I get’. It’s like, well yeah, but because of those joys you are confined. Not the other way around. And once you start seeing that, then you realise, OK, these are just baits that keep me confined in this environment.

T: For every suffering that you have, you’re not getting what you want, you’re confined. There’s a limit to what you can get, what your self wants to appropriate. With confinement, I’m getting what I don’t want. I’m crushed in.

N: Yeah. So that’s why I kept saying, in the past as well, if a person wants to contemplate death, you don’t contemplate it in abstract terms, or impersonally, looking at dead bodies and so on. No, just find things that confine you. Sense restraint will be confining, saying no to your desires will be very confining, doing things you don’t want to do in terms of duties will be very confining. Do that, and see whether your mind moves or not, and how much. And that’s your training. To not allow your mind to move amidst things that want to move you. And that eventually can result in that opening within the confinement. Not left, right, below, or above it. So while fully confined, the mind is released from it. Turned away from it, through dispassion, no other way. There is no other way, there’s no other mystical portal that you can access it through, it’s just through sheer dispassion amidst the confinement and discomfort of confinement. If you have wisdom, patience, that confinement can be gradually built up, so you would not necessarily suffer so sharply, immediately, for a long time. But, either way, sometimes you just have to. Like, it’s not up to you to decide.

As the Buddha said, for somebody the path towards that opening, that freedom, is going to be quick and unpleasant, quick and pleasant, slow and pleasant, or slow and unpleasant. But you’ll know that only in hindsight, which way it was. And again, I think if we were to bet on which way most people would be, two-and-a-half millennia after the Buddha, probably it’s going to be slow and unpleasant for mostly everyone. But again, even that displeasure does not mean it’s going to be this excruciating torment by default, automatically. No, that is determined by how much you actively crave against it. It’s not like a pool of pain that you have to sort of drain, and just endure though. No, you could, technically, abandon it right there and then. If you’re able to face it for what it is, keep your mind dispassionate towards it, and do that endurance that we talk about in regard to that phenomenon of confinement. Then everything else will just fall away.

T: That’s what dukkha is, confinement.

N: Yeah. Not getting what you want, being separated from what you want. Being united with what you don’t want.

M: Whether you want it or not.

N: Yeah.

T: There being a body, there being experience, birth.

N: Well, exactly. Like, once you start looking at it closely, or authentically, you recognise your own eyes, nose, senses. You had no say in their arising, you certainly have no say in what they want and their desires. You’re just fully and perpetually subjected to it, pressured by it, confined by it. Confined by the duty of maintaining and feeding your desires, otherwise the mind will just become too unbearable. And that’s like a hard labour prison camp. You also have to work, all the time.

T: So recognising your confinement, the extent of confinement that you are in, you’re seeing, understanding dukkha, and feeling it.

N: Pretty much, yeah. Recognising then what brings that dukkha, you realise, it’s not the confinement.

M: It’s like then you recognise the dukkha, but it’s not the dukkha any more.

N: You recognise the dukkha, then you recognise the source of dukkha, then you recognise the escape from dukkha.

T: And the source is your fighting inside that, or fighting against that.

N: Yeah, resisting it. Resisting confinement. By default, taking it at face value. So for as long as you have the view, or views, that this unpleasant experience that I’m pressured by, confined by, is caused because such-and-such a thing happened, that’s already a view that looks past the confinement, blames it on something else. So first, you just have to stop acting out of those views. You might think oh, I suffer because he said something that upset me, but because I restrain, I don’t fuel that view, and then that view actually falls away. And I realise, well, I suffer because suffering has arisen. That’s it. Yes, he said something, another day somebody else didn’t do something, it’s always something that’s going to be seemingly the reason, at face value, but fundamentally, I suffer because suffering is present. I suffer because I resist confinement, that’s it. Presence of resistance means suffering, absence of resistance means not suffering, amidst confinement. And that’s exactly what the Suttas describe.

Those who understand this, they don’t suffer amidst the suffering. So the extent of confinement reveals the extent of dukkha because it shows the extent of your resistance towards it. So that’s, well, the four noble truths. So then how do you tame your mind to remove any trace of resistance within confinement? Whether it’s the confinement of desire, pressure to act out, any other type of confinement, how do you train your mind? Well, that’s the noble eightfold path. You realise, OK, so I can’t decide by will to tell this mind to stop resisting it, kicking and screaming like a wild animal. But, if I adhere to certain behaviours, avoid certain other behaviours, cultivate skilful things, avoid unskillfull things, eat suitable food, not unsuitable food, tame my senses, that animal will have to calm down. And when that animal calms down, my view will be fulfilled. The view of freedom amidst confinement that I have understood. And that’s like a sotāpanna’s understanding that can then lead to arahantship if he fully tames that mind, within what he already understood.